The Real Snowflakes

by the Stone Canyon Libs

People on the political left have been characterized by those on the political right as bleeding-heart liberals and snowflakes. To conservatives, these terms mean weakness and a flawed value system. Yet, it's the conservatives whose delicate sensibilities are constantly triggered, and their rationalizations can be logic-defying.

In 2013, Republican Governor of Lousiana, Bobby Jindal, speaking to the Republican National Committee, said, “We must stop being the stupid party.”:

The problem is, the conservative base is happy with the direction the stupid party is taking.

Here are some examples of the things that triggered conservatives, their representatives in Congress, and right-wing media in recent years.

Purple M&M

M&M Colors

The right-wing has been focusing on M&M colors for years now, trying to associate the colors with sexual deviancy. The animated purple M&M spokescandy in their TV ads is supposed to represent inclusiveness and acceptance. A few right-wing talking heads said that this spokescandy “might be transgender.”

Tucker Carlson was disturbed that the revamped female candies were “less sexy” and disturbed that he no longer wanted to have a drink with them:

This caused someone on Twitter to ask, “Does Tucker Carlson know you don’t actually have sex with the M&Ms?”

Tucker Carlson Widely Mocked After Criticizing ‘Less Sexy’ M&Ms

Barbie and Ken


Many conservatives see the Barbie movie as left-wing, toxic, anti-man feminism. Right-wing hero Ben Shapiro lit Barbie and Ken dolls on fire in a video on Twitter. We wonder if Shapiro purchased the dolls just before incinerating them or if they were already in his closet.

Perhaps conservatives would be happier with the Klaus Barbie movie?


Stop woke

Fighting against wokeness is core to today's conservatism, yet when asked to define wokeism, some can't do it. Here's Bethany Mandel, the author of a book on wokeness, being asked to define wokeness by interviewer Brianna Joy Gray:

Crocs footwear


Conservatives hate Crocs footwear. Why? They're worn by gays...and women...and children...and...

Dylan Mulvaney with Bud Light

Bud Light

Anheuser-Busch sent a few cans of Bud Light to trans woman and Tik Tok star Dylan Mulvaney. The right-wing went nuts when Mulvaney drank one on Tik Toc. They called for a boycot of Bud Light. There were videos of cases of Bud Light being destroyed by AK-47-wielding lunatics like Kid Rock.

The beer company was happy that their beer was purchased, even if the buyers didn't drink it.

American Dolls

American Doll

When Americn Doll Company published a Smart Girl’s Guide: Body Image book that included language that was a bit woke, conservatives claimed that the book (and perhaps the dolls) would corrupt their children.

Critics pan American Girl book for handling of gender, trans identity

Elmo from Sesame Street

Sesame Street

If you listen to conservative cable TV long enough, you'll have to deal with logic problems such as “Racism doesn't exist”, and “Sesame Street's Elmo is responsible for it.”

CPAC head Matt Schlapp has mentioned numerous times that the Sesame Street TV show should be defunded.

Fox News host talks race by calling out the real enemy: Sesame Street's Elmo

carton of old light bulbs

Light bulbs

The Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 forced electric lighting to be 25 percent more efficient by 2014. It was passed by the Democratic majority in Congress. Naturally, Fox News made a big deal about this injustice, so many conservatives bought a lifetime supply of the old inefficient bulbs before the law took effect.

Given that newer LED bulbs last far longer and now cost about the same, this was a silly move. Here's Neil deGrasse Tyson explaning why LED bulbs are so much more efficient:

Miranda rights

Conservatives don't like that police must read Miranda rights to anyone they arrest. “Criminal suspects shouldn't have Miranda rights. They're criminals.”

And now they have the conservative-majority Supreme Court agreeing: Supreme Court’s conservative majority rules suspects cannot claim civil rights violations if Miranda rights violated

Taking a knee

Taking a knee

Football players who protest the murders of unarmed black men by taking a knee during the national anthem makes conservatives crazy. They think that protest in any form is unacceptable regardless of the injustice.

Jade Helm 15 cartoon

Jade Helm 15

Many conservatives believed that military exercises in the U.S., such as the Jade Helm 15 exercize, was really an Obama plan to round up dissidents in preparation for Martial Law.

Wikipedia: Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theories

Army Times: Jade Helm 15: Controversial military exercise starts Wednesday

Air Force boring machine


Conservatives invented a conspiracy theory based on these two unrelated facts:

  1. several Walmart stores suddenly shut down in April 2015
  2. Someone posted a photo of a boring machine that has an Air Force logo to social media.

They claim the military is boring tunnels between abandoned Walmart stores to allow troops and weapons to be deployed anywhere in the United States in minutes, and completely hidden from view.

Snopes: Walmart Closure Conspiracy Theories

FEMA death camps

Some conservatives believed that FEMA has death camps, which explains FEMA's stockpiles of body bags and coffins. The first phase will be the rounding up of law-abiding U.S. citizens and imprisoned at one of hundreds of military bases. The second phase will be...well,...think Nazi Germany.

SPLC: Fear of FEMA

The Dixie Chicks

Dixie Chicks

The Dixie Chicks criticized George W. Bush for starting two wars that cost eight trillion dollars and lasted over twenty years. So, they had to be cancelled.

Wikipedia: Dixie Chicks controversy

Gay wedding cake

Gay wedding cakes

Conservatives were upset that shopkeepers and bakers were not able to discriminate against gay couples by refusing to sell them wedding cakes.

Michelle Obama in sleeveless dress


Michelle Obama was too much for right-wing conservatives. Sleeveless dresses and bare shoulders drove them nuts, yet they were OK with nude photos of Melania Trump.

Some went as far as believing that Michelle Obama is a man:

Michelle Obama's bare arms stir controversy


Polylingual anguish

Conservatives are a monolingual crowd. They don't like anyone speaking a language other than English in their country.

Radio station cuts ties with conservative host after she filmed herself yelling at landscapers for speaking Spanish

Two women detained for speaking Spanish

Mt. McKinley


Conservatives hate returning Anglicized names of places back to the original native names, such as Mount McKinley back to Denali.

NY Times: 3,000 Miles From Denali, Ohio Fumes Over Renaming of Mount McKinley

A Karen phoning police on Black family on picnic


Many conservatives don't like when Black Americans enjoy their benefits of citizenship. This famous photo is of a woman who phoned police when two Black men were barbequing in a public park, in an area designated for barbequing. She was apparently calling to report the crime barbequing while black.

We're waiting for a ruling on whether barbequing while Asian is also a thing.

White Woman Calls Police on Black Family's BBQ for 'Trespassing' in Oakland Park

Happy holidays

Saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas makes them very unhappy. Apparently, it's insulting to Christians to have any other religion recognized. It's because they believe the United States is a Christian nation, and that the founding fathers created it to be a theocracy, regardless of what the First Amendment to the Constitution says.

The First Amendment was adopted in 1791. The founding fathers wanted religious freedom and no state religion.

Starbucks Happy Holidays cup

Starbucks' Coffee Cups

Look closely at this Starbucks coffee cup. See the "Happy Holidays" in the upper left? To conservatives, this apparently means that there is no God and is an attack on the baby Jesus.

How Starbucks’s annual holiday cup became a battleground for the heart and soul of America

Fox Host: “The War On Christmas [Is] Off To An Early Start” On Starbucks' Coffee Cups

Food stamps

USDA food coupon

The conservative war on the poor is never-ending. They don't like poor people getting a free-ride on their tax dollars. They equate being poor with being lazy.

“Once you give lazy poor people food stamps, they'll be back for more.”

“We need to be able to force people who use food stamps to only buy foods that we think they should eat.”



Back in 2013, conservative gun owners complained that the government was buying too much ammunition, and there wasn't enough available for them to purchase. They were afraid that they would be outgunned when they had to battle U.S. military troops to take back the country.

Outgunned? By a military funded with over $700 billion a year?

Is The Obama Administration The Cause Of Gun Ammunition Shortages?


Books banned by conservatives

Conservatives hate it when books are read that don't comply with their world view. So, they banned more than 1,600 books during the 2021-22 school year


Child groomers threat

Conservatives reacted to a Pride display of clothing in a Northern California Target store with a boycott and threats of violence.

Bethel Women’s Pastor Promotes Target Boycott Citing Concerns Over Child “Sexualization”

School lunches

school lunch

Many conservatives don't want schools to provide milk and lunch to poor students. Some think the students should get a job before or after school to pay for it. One Congressman suggested that schools should fire their janitors and use student labor instead.

Mitch McConnell is reportedly opposing free school lunches

Idaho Lawmaker Wants Children to Work for Those Free Lunches

photo of Genital Cam mounted on restroom wall with sign saying Please lower your pants by order of Shelby County Republican Party


Have you noticed how much time and energy go into conservatives ranting about restrooms and who uses them?

How far would they take this?

Anti-transgender bathroom hysteria, explained

non-recyclable coffee cups

Coffee cups

GOP Congressmen were the heros to conservatives when they brought back polystyrene cups to the Congressional cafeterias. A previous woke Congress had replaced the non-recyclable cups with ceramic cups to better protect the environment.

Republicans recycle an old idea: the foam plastic coffee cup